


Conversations: Everybody Has a Thing for Halle Berry

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-25
Updated: 2005-08-25
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: 'Hollywood guys we think are sexy', healthy diets, Josh is obsessed with John Cusack, Donna's bad date and Halle Berry





	Conversations: Everybody Has a Thing for Halle Berry

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Conversations: Everybody Has A Thing For Halle Berry   
Author: The Artful Dodger   
Pairing: Ensemble, implied J/S and T/S   
Category: Humor   
Rating: CHILD   
Warnings: I refuse to rate it higher because of implied m/m slash   
Spoilers: Nothing is really relevant. Set during the 2nd campaign, 2002.   
Summary: 'Hollywood guys we think are sexy', healthy diets, Josh is obsessed with John Cusack, Donna's bad date and Halle Berry   
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to a bunch of people, and I am not one of them. I am in no way trying to compete with Aaron Sorkin, for that would be a mere mortal trying to compete with a GOD. Also, "A Beautiful Mind", "X-Men", "Say Anything", "Sixteen Candles", "ER", "Cradle Will Rock", "A Perfect Storm" and "Star Wars", do not belong to me. Neither do any of the actors and actresses mentioned, as they belong to themselves. This story, however, does. I make no money off of this and probably should be working on something where I might actually make some money...but heere ya' go.   
Feedback: We all want to be told how great we are, but constructive criticism is welcome, too.   
Author's Notes: I just thought, "Not everything between them has to be about work", right? Thanx to Val, the Shaggy to my Scooby. Wait, which one was smarter and more mature? That's Val. 

**Conversations: Everybody Has A Thing For Halle Berry by The Artful Dodger**

It had become a nightly event. Josh like to refer to it as 'The Fight For America's Soul'. Of course, whenever he did that, he got a scowl and some inaudible mumbling from Toby. But he showed up every night, just the same. They started gathering in the Roosevelt Room for campaign sessions. Josh was surprised that it was only this morning that Leo had started in on tax payers time and money and the whole possibility that maybe they should have a campaign headquarters. 

Sam had argued that they weren't necessarily on the taxpayer's time during the meetings with Bruno and Co. and that they could technically be considered 'clocked out'. Leo had argued, 'You're always on the taxpayers time', to which Sam countered with 'Well, then I guess we shouldn't work on the campaign at all. We'll just leave it to Bruno'. 

That got Sam a good whack on the back of the head from CJ. Then Josh had pointed out that some of them actually did *real work* while Toby and Bruno yelled at each other. To which Donna, who was standing in the back of Leo's office, made some sort of noise that sounded like she was clearing her throat, even though everybody knew she wasn't. Later, she got a lecture from Josh on being supportive and not undermining her boss. She only pretended to listen.

Needless to say, Sam won the argument with Leo. He insisted it was his charm and way with words that won out in the end. Leo said that he was just tired of listening to Sam talk.

*****

So there they were, the four of them, in the Roosevelt Room, waiting on their dinner and Bruno, again.

Toby was leaning back in his chair, working a crossword puzzle. CJ was reading a magazine. And Josh and Sam were flicking a wadded up piece of paper back and forth across the table. This was annoying Toby.

"You guys don't have work you could be doing?"

Josh flicked the paper wad back at Sam, who made a successful block. "You're doing a crossword puzzle, Toby. Don't you have work *you* could be doing?"

Sam and CJ turned towards Toby, waiting for the inevitable explosion. It didn't come. "I'm doing a relaxation exercise."

"It's a crossword puzzle," Sam stated. Toby looked at Sam with a cold stare. "I'm just gonna be quiet now." Sam turned back towards his game of paper soccer. He flipped the wad, catching Josh off guard. The paper flew off the table and landed on the floor.

"Good job, Seaborn," Josh whined.

"I scored. Go get the ball, Josh."

"You go get the ball."

"It's on your side of the table."

"You flicked it."

Toby tossed the crossword puzzle down. "You two are ruining my relaxation. Sam, did you finish your speech?"

"No, I did not."

"Go to your office and finish your speech."

"I'm waiting for dinner."

"Wait in your office."

"But this is our time," Sam whined.

"What time?" Josh asked.

"You know, our time while we wait for dinner and Bruno. Our time for bonding and sharing and…" Sam stopped when he caught the amused look on Josh's face.

CJ looked up from her magazine. "Our time for bonding and sharing?"

"What," Josh laughed, "is this a slumber party?"

CJ cocked her head at him. "Josh, did you use to have slumber parties when you were a kid?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a moment. Sam was glad that everyone had forgotten that they were making fun of his 'bonding and sharing' remark. But still…no one was bonding and sharing. 

Sam sighed. "What are you reading, CJ?"

"Are you trying to trick me into sharing with you, Sam?"

"I'm just saying not everything between us has to be about work."

CJ waved the magazine at him. "It is about work. It's an article on how the government can set better standards for the American people."

Josh stretched his arms over his head. "How can we set better standards?"

"With a healthy diet and proper exercise."

"Are you kidding me?" Josh was incredulous.

"It makes a special point of how pale you look on TV," CJ told him.

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does." CJ set the magazine down in front of Josh and pointed at the article.

"Oh man, it does," Josh mumbled.

"See, Josh, I told you, you don't eat properly," Sam chided.

"I eat fine."

"No, you don't, Joshua." Donna had walked in the room and was standing behind Josh. She took her coat off and sat down at the table next to him. "You have horrible eating habits."

Josh scowled at her. "Why are you back here already?"

"You told me to come back for the thing with Bruno."

"I thought he was taking you to dinner after the movie?" 

"Yeah, I told him I had to come back to work," Donna said.

CJ looked at her. "Date didn't go well?"

"The movie was great. The guy…not so much."

Sam jumped in. "What movie did you see?"

"'A Beautiful Mind'. Russell Crowe is awesome."

"That's a great movie," Toby mumbled.

CJ smirked. "Toby, when did you see 'A Beautiful Mind'?"

"I have a life."

"Since when?" Sam froze the second Toby looked at him. It was not a nice look. Sam felt his heart in throat. "I'm gonna be quiet now."

"Good idea," Toby growled at him.

"Russell Crowe, huh?" Josh asked.

"Yeah."

"That's a true story, you know," Sam informed them.

"I know," Donna nodded.

"It's actually very fascinating." Sam was starting to get excited now.

Josh smiled. "Sam, did you research it?"

"I did, actually."

Josh laughed. "You're a sad, sad man, Seaborn."

"It's a good story, Josh," Sam insisted.

"Yeah, but you don't have to research everything," Josh told him.

"I don't," Sam pouted.

"Yes, you do. Remember when we went and saw 'A Perfect Storm', and you were all bummed because I wouldn't watch the documentary with you, beforehand?"

"It was a good documentary. Just because you choose to be uneducated…"

"Sam, the plot was good. The story was heartbreaking," Josh said. "Whatever. You and I both know that was not the point of the movie."

"Maybe not for you, but it was for me."

Toby looked up. 'The plot was not the point of the movie?"

"No."

"What was?"

"George Clooney," Josh grinned.

Toby groaned. CJ whacked Josh on the back of the head. 

Donna smiled. "I'll agree with that."

Josh looked at her. "Thank you, Donna."

"And you call me sad." Sam looked at Josh with mock anger.

"Don't be jealous, Sam. He's on my list."

CJ took the bait. "What list?"

"Hollywood guys I get to sleep with."

"Only guys?" CJ asked.

"I can sleep with *all* the women I want," Josh said, proudly.

Donna giggled. "First of all, no you can't. And second of all, why only men?"

"I don't know. That's the way the game was played."

"When was this game played?" Toby realized it was a bad question as soon as he saw the look exchanged between Sam and Josh. "Never mind."

'Besides," Sam pouted, "just 'cause he's on your list, does not rule out my being jealous… as if I was jealous in the first place."

Josh smiled. "Harrison Ford. Do I get all pissy when you want to watch 'Star Wars'?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"It's 'Star Wars'."

Josh pondered for a moment. "Fair enough."

"Harrison Ford's on my list," CJ offered.

"He's got a sexy voice," Donna added.

"John Cusack."

"Josh, you have a thing for John Cusack?"

Donna groaned. "Don't ask him that. He'll give you a list of all the reasons why John Cusack is 'dreamy'."

"Dreamy?" CJ raised an eyebrow.

"His words…not mine."

Josh grinned. "He is dreamy. And I'll tell you why…"

Toby groaned. "Please, don't."

"One, he's got great eyes. Two, he's got great hair. He's got a soft voice. He can do all kinds of acting: comedy, drama, whatever. He's a nice guy. He's a private guy. In Hollywood, that's a rare thing. And, most importantly, he's Lloyd Dobbler."

"Who?" CJ asked.

"'Say Anything'," Josh told her.

"Never seen it."

"CJ," Josh gasped, "please, tell me you're joking?"

"Never seen it."

"I can't…you haven't…it's not…why are we friends? I can't even talk to you right now." Josh threw his hands up in disgust.

Sam sighed. "It's a requirement if you want to be friends with Josh. Now he's gonna make you come over and watch it."

"Yes! CJ, you have to come over and watch it."

"Okay," CJ agreed, skeptically.

"Excellent!"

"You own it?"

Sam laughed. "He owns like twelve of Cusack's movies."

"Fourteen."

"I thought it was twelve."

"You always forget 'Sixteen Candles'. He was in 'Sixteen Candles', remember."

"Oh yeah," Sam nodded. "But that's only thirteen. You said fourteen."

"'Cradle Will Rock'."

Sam grinned. "You bought that? I told you it was a great movie!"

"You were right.'

Toby sighed. "I don't know what's most disturbing about that conversation…but I'm going to go with the fact that Josh owns 'Sixteen Candles'."

"Latest obsession?" Josh asked, raising his eyebrows at Sam.

Sam smiled. "Hugh Jackman."

"When did that happen?"

"After the 'X-Men' movie."

"Hugh Jackman's hot," Donna said, dreamily.

"That was a good movie," Toby said.

CJ smirked. "The 'X-Men', Toby, really?

Toby looked at CJ, disgustedly. "I was a kid once upon time, CJ. I read comic books. I like nostalgia. Besides, did you see Halle Berry in that outfit?"

"Oh, she's hot," Josh said.

"Even I have a thing for Halle Berry," Donna agreed.

Sam sighed. "Everybody has a thing for Halle Berry."

CJ jumped in. "Goran Vsnijic."

"Who's Goran Vsnijic?"

"Hot guy, sexy accent, any day of the week and twice on Sunday." Sam stopped. Josh was looking at him with a peculiar look. Sam blushed. "I mean, that guy from 'ER'."

"Paul Newman." 

"CJ, would that be old Paul Newman or young Paul Newman?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Steve McQueen."

'I'm sorry, Toby, did you say something?"

"Steve McQueen," Toby repeated.

Josh grinned. "Steve McQueen's the man."

Sam looked at Toby with confusion. 

Toby scowled at him. "What? I can't play the game?"

"You just said you have the hots for Steve McQueen," Sam informed him.

"I never used the word 'hots'."

"Close enough," Sam said.

"Billy Bob Thorton," CJ added..

"I like him," Sam grinned. "And Ed Harris."

Donna frowned. "Wasn't he in 'A Beautiful Mind'?"

"Yes, he was."

Toby looked at Sam. "The short, bald guy?"

"He's sexy." 

"Sam likes bald guys," Josh informed them.

"Anthony Edwards," Sam grinned.

"Yes," CJ joined him, "Anthony Edwards is sexy."

"Adam Sandler," Josh added. "And Jon Stewart."

Donna frowned. "I knew about Jon Stewart, but you and Adam Sandler? I don't see it."

"Not for me," Josh told her. "For Sam. He's likes Adam Sandler…and Jon Stewart."

"I do," Sam confessed.

"See, Toby, he's likes bald guys *and* Jewish guys," Josh grinned.

Toby looked at Sam. Sam could feel the heat rushing to his face. He tried to avert his eyes. 

Donna decided to bail Sam out. "Mel Gibson."

"Sean Connery," CJ added.

"Nicolas Cage." Charlie had walked in the room, unnoticed. "What are we doing?'

"Hollywood guys we think are sexy," Josh said.

"Not just guys," Donna reminded him. "Girls too. Don't forget about Halle Berry."

Josh nodded. "She's hot…plus, Toby has a thing for Halle Berry."

Charlie smiled. "Everybody has a thing for Halle Berry."

*****

THE END


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